I quit weed. For real.

I didn't want to say this right away, as I didn't know if I'd follow through with it... but it's been a month and a bit since I last smoked up, so I'm pretty confident I can go ahead now.

My stoner days are well and truly over. I want to try and push myself in college next year, and that's not going to happen if I keep smoking. Some people are able to do it, but not me, hell no. I've saved a fuck load of money too, I guess I was spending a lot more on weed then I realized.

Do I miss it? Hm. No and yes. I feel the benefits of stopping, my mind is a lot clearer. However, I do slightly miss the relaxing side of it. Especially after coming home exhausted from work (manual labour!).

Cravings? No. I was convinced that I was psychologically addicted, but I wasn't. I just stopped. No withdrawal, nothing.

I'm not anti-marijuana though. I still want it to be legalized, even though I wouldn't smoke it regularly as I did before. The simple fact is, I can't afford to be smoking, and I need to do well next year at college.

That's not to say I won't have the occasional joint once every few months when I go out with friends, but me smoking it regularly has certainly stopped.

A Level results!

Yes, I'm still alive lol. Haven't updated for a while because I've been so busy during the holiday. However, I'm back on here, and with fresh news on my A level results which came out today.

Sociology: U
History: C
English Lit: D

Meh. Bullshit. I've been told by the college that I can't continue to next year because I failed to get three passes, which is the minimum. So they gave me three options: retake the year again with A levels, retake the year again with a Btec vocational course, or bye bye! I have to go in tomorrow to give them my decision.

I've decided I'm going to do a Btec rather than A levels. I just don't want to be in the same position this time next year. Although (and I'm sorry if I sound like a cocky prick here) I'm a lot smarter, not to mention overqualified to do Btecs, I just don't think I'm strong enough to deal with A levels.

Yeah, I'm a little disappointed. But that's life I guess. You don't always get what you want, and there's no point in me moping around doing fuck all. I've just got to look up and see this as a new challenge, opportunity to meet new people, and actually get some decent grades at the end of it.

The Royal Baby - And Why I Couldn't Care Less

All I hear is royal baby this, royal baby that. So there I was yesterday evening, eating dinner and catching up on EastEnders on my laptop whilst the TV was on - and every news channel was focused outside the hospital in which Kate and William were set to jump out of with this never seen before spectacular human being.

Whilst I sorely watched them wave at the camera, lapping up attention, I started to wonder why the Royal Family are so loved and focused on by the media - and it seems - much of the general public. The Queen has next to no power, is wasting taxpayers money on lavished dining, holidays and other frivolities. The only thing they bring to us, you may argue, is tourism. Although, from all the places I've traveled around the world, particularly in Mediterranean countries, they actually snigger at us English for our devotion to the Royal Family.

Hey, if you want to love them, that's fine, just remember while many of us are struggling to hold down a job, the Queen is getting a £5 million bonus every year. The money isn't my issue though, it's what she's doing, or should I say, not doing, to earn it.

The worst, and in my opinion, most shocking part of it all, was when the news reporter commented on how difficult Kate may have found labour, and the difficulty in raising a new born child. Well let me tell you something love.

My mother came here from Albania with my father when I was a baby. He soon returned and left her here on her own with me. Living in a shitty council flat, having to get food stamps, and searching day and night for a job to support her son. That, love, that, is what you call difficult. Kate will have every help on the planet to raise that child, so calling it 'difficult' is a disrespect to mothers, like mine, who genuinely struggled.

At the end of the day, it is what it is I guess. He'll grow up to eventually be the King, and never truly understand the real world around him.

Rant over.

First Electric Guitar: Fender Squire Telecaster

Finally I've managed to save up enough to get my first electric guitar! So far I've only been playing on my two (rather shitty) acoustic guitars, and it's time for me to try and excel to the next level. After some pretty heavy research, the Fender Squire Telecaster seems to be the ideal choice for me. It's beginner friendly, however not beginner limited. I'm planning to get the guitar along with a Kinsman 10W amplifier, altogether coming at around £170.

Hopefully I should get it before next week!

I'll post pics when it arrives. 

Cameron: Pornography To Be Banned

Well, I never thought it would actually come to this, but David Cameron has taken the decision to block porn from all internet service providers, unless the customer chooses to 'opt in'. According to Cameron, porn is 'corroding' the youth of today. Interesting. As the leader of our country, I would have thought he has more urgent issues to deal with then playing the big man on the internet.

But anyway, here's my two cents on the whole thing.

As a younger teenager growing up, I can say quite confidently that me and most - no, scratch that - all of my friends would watch it from time to time. Since the age of technology and the internet, that's mainly how it's been. And to be quite frank, porn teaches a lot more than these so called 'sex education' lessons. Families already have hundreds of programs to filter out adult content, so I don't think a nationwide ban was really necessary.

But let's be blunt. It's the year 2013. Cameron is either ill advised or plain retarded (my guess is both) if he thinks this will work. It's a lost battle before it's even started. I can promise you right now, that if people want to find it online, they will. It will still be up there, just a different method of finding it.

Anyhow Mr Cameron, in your infinite wisdom, I do wish you luck in your plans for a porn-free country, your going to damn well need it.

Jack signing out here. 

It's That Time of Year Again

Summer is finally here! A good month and a bit free of (most) work, study and other tiring shit. Since I'm going to be here all summer, (although I'm trying to get a little bit of money for a weekend away in France) I've decided to dust off my guitar and put it to use. Here goes my second attempt at learning this sexy little instrument. I'll let you know how it goes.

Video Of The Day #10

Life's a rush when your living in the city of London

Musical Tastes

That letter I was meant to hand in on Monday... still hasn't been handed in. Probably to no ones surprise, I expect. I'll try definitely hand it in next week.

This post is mostly about my musical tastes, which everyone, including my hugely annoyed neighbors have commented on (I'm sure they don't appreciate booming basslines at 3 in the morning).

My roots will always remain in British hip hop. There's just no escaping my love for the lyrical architecture that it produces. (Not be confused with Lil Wayne's so called 'hip hop'.) The hip hop I mean is gifted poets talking about meaningful subjects in life; poverty, depression, anger, failure, love - and our UK scene - particularly here in London - does it superbly.


TaskForce at their finest, digress these lyrics, they have real purpose to them.

My second musical love is EDM - electronic dance music. When I was younger, in my very early teens, I first heard Skrillex. It was love at first sight sound. It lasted briefly though, as I soon began to find older dubstep, drum & bass and jungle. I love it when a track - regardless of the genre - has meaning to it. Yeah, I guess you can see a pattern emerging here. The works of Chase & Status are some of my favorite.

                                   

Alas, I don't listen to EDM very much today. I guess there was a stage in my younger schooling years when me and the lads would all get into illegal raves and have some of the most memorable times of our lives there. The bass thumping, and often pure adrenaline like state was just irresistible. Or it could have been the drugs. I now listen to it occasionally, but go to clubs often, where I feel like I can appreciate the music more

than just blasting it on my system at home. One things for sure; EDM will always accompany some of my best memories I had of dark nights in parts of London we've never heard of.

And last, but certainly not least, is my most recent addition to my 'favorite genres'; rock n roll. This was a newly found love, and is sure to be a long and ever lasting one. The whole lifestyle it encompasses suits me completely. Drugs, sex, and rock n roll, right? 

But yeah, in all honestly, I listen to all different kinds of music, but these three are my current favorites.


These sleeping tablets are kicking in. Time for me to light a cig and get ready for bed.

I'll sign off here, peace all.

Video Of The Day #9

'Cigarette smoke yeah, The cigarette smoke in your eyes

Watchin' a stripper and snortin' some coke, yeah

Snortin' some coke of her thighs

Bla bla bla bla bla!'

Epitome of my life perhaps. Anyhow, amazing track.

Summer Has Arrived

And it's about time to! The temperature hit 30 degrees, and so I hit the balcony with a pack of cigarettes and some of my favorite tunes from my holiday in Italy last year. Reminiscent bliss, all while getting a tan.

This weekends been great, the weekdays before that, not so. The reason for a lack of updates for a few days now was due to me being kicked out of college for three days, awaiting a meeting about my 'future' at the college. I found out on Tuesday morning, picked up some herb, and basically spent three days constantly stoned contemplating the meanings of life. But anyway, Friday came around, and the meeting resulted in me having to write a formal letter of apology. Are they fucking serious? God, I suppose if it means continuing my education I guess it'll have to be done. And instead of doing it, I'm here, typing this. I'm supposed to hand in this letter tomorrow, and I know for sure I'm not getting it done tonight. Fuck it.

Even more annoyingly is that I've had to put down my studies on Marxism because I've managed to get my old job back - which is pretty much going to consume every second of free time I had. Back to manual labour with a small building firm. Minimum wage, but hey, money is so tight that even getting this little extra helps - especially if I can save up till October and get myself a little trip back to the old country.

And so life goes on. But I'm starting to get the feeling that there's more to life than the constant ring of work, study, drugs and partying. Maybe not.

I feel that I might as well share what's been on my mind recently. My brain is very... interesting. I've finished exams, got my old job back, summer is here, and so you'd think I have little much to worry about, right? Wrong.

I've been single for nearly a year now, and haven't looked back once. But it's starting to keep coming up in my thoughts. I mean, fair enough, man can live on good mates, hard drink and the occasional Friday night slut, but I've grown beyond that now. Honestly. I'm thinking about the future. And I'm yet to talk to 'the girl across the road', as my mates have now become accustomed to calling her when taking the piss. Next opportunity I get. Definitely.
 

God damn, this is turning into an essay.

I had not intended to write that much. I guess this blog helps me clear my thoughts more than I had previously thought. If you've gone through that whole block of text, I salute you.

Peace and blessings to all, see you at my next update!

Video Of The Day #8

My favorite part of that drunken, unforgettable evening when The Stone Roses came to town. Skip to 2:10!

Marxism, Marxism, Marxism

My studying into the concept continues! I'll upload a photo with the pile of work I have collected over studying the subject for the past few weeks. I'm a little drunk and stoned right now, so I'll put it on sometime soon.

But yeah, as a general update, things are getting really busy. Got tons of work to be getting on with, but I'm still in the same old habit of doing it - as long as it's next Tuesday.

My smoking quit is going okay I guess. I've cut down to 3-5 a day and I'm keeping it relatively consistent. I've bought some nicotine gum to help. Hopefully I can reduce that 3-5 to 0.

Nothing else worthy of updating, so I'll sign of here. Peace all.

Friday High Day!

;)

Worst College Ever?

I mentioned in a previous post already that I was sent home over some bullshit. Guess what. It's happened again. Different teacher, different reason, but the same absolute bullshit.

Let me make something very clear. I'm 17. I can get married. I can join the army. And I'm even going to college on my own freewill, I don't have to pursue further education after 16.

And guess what I'm sent home for? Before even getting into class, I had my phone out to check the time to make sure I wasn't late, and 'not making eye contact when spoken to' and being rude. Even worse is that I risk getting into some serious shit, as it was the headteacher, who threatened it was up to her whether I continued coming to the college or not.

Fuck it.

She's a stuck up old woman who's living in a false reality. I mean, come on. Your the head of a shitty college in north London, filled with kids from the ghettos and estates - including me. I'm trying to do better for my life, and I can't attend over this pathetic excuse for a reason.

Video Of The Day #7

Absolutely shocking. I want to punch the seven shades of shit out of this vile man. 

My Only Problem With Cannabis

Other than the fact that I strongly believe no government should be able to stop us using a plant put on this earth by nature/god - depending on your belief - there's one problem I've now come to terms with after two years of on and off heavy use - sleep.

Any other smokers reading this will know of the utter bliss when falling asleep stoned, but there's a catch to it - for me, at least. Trying to sleep without it.

For financial reasons other than anything else, I'll only smoke on Fridays and Saturdays, and it's the Sunday, Monday and even Tuesday after that falling asleep becomes so difficult. It's almost as though the body isn't used to sleeping sober.

I know for a fact it isn't just me, but I also know it doesn't affect everyone, and I suppose not going to sleep stoned at all would probably avoid the problem altogether. But I've got responsibilities and important things to do during the day, so evenings are the only time I can really light up. Not being able to sleep on a Sunday night is the perfect recipe for a shitty Monday.

I'll do some research into it if I can find the time, I really want to know exactly why this happens. 

Video Of The Day #6

Another piece of work from the UK's finest rapper and poet, Chester P. Very powerful verses, and as a local around my area in  north London, he speaks the truth about poverty stricken life on council estates. 

Things aren't going great

So I got home really early today. Kicked out of college. Again. This shitty teacher... she was trying to compare Marxism to a fucking book about a cat being stuck under a table. I mean... the fuck?!?!

And I don't care what anyone says, if I want to go toilet halfway through class, it's my fucking right to do so. I'm not going to give any exact detail as to why I was sent out but it doesn't take a genius to figure it out.

Anyway, fuck her, stupid slag. She needs a lesson or two from me.

And oh, remember when I said I was going to try and give the smokes a miss? That's not going amazingly well either. I've managed to cut down from like 10 a day to about 3 or 4. Actually, in hindsight that's pretty good.

Video Of The Day #5

Chase & Status ft Plan B - Pieces

I used to love electronic dance music aka EDM, but I sort of grew out of it. Anyway, I was going through some old tracks and this was one I haven't heard in a while.

Good video. Excellent track.

Too stoned to write anymore lol. 

Here We Go Again...

This weekend I'm going to try and put down the cigs.

No, really, I am.

I know, I know, I've tried so many times in the past and I've never been able to keep myself away from the little fuckers, but I figured that I should keep trying, right? The only thing that can come out of it is good.

My only concern lies with the fact that I smoke weed on Fridays, and I roll my joints with tobacco to save money. At the moment, I'm not looking to quit the herb. One day, hell yeah, but at the moment, no. This means that I may have to keep a box of cigs in my room only for times when I smoke weed. But it's that added temptation which is worrying.

Anyhow, I'm not going to go on about it, I don't intend to make this another boring 'how-I-quit-fags' story.

Who knows, maybe tomorrows my last day as a tobacco smoker. Probably not. But let's see.

Sleep Is Getting Harder Each Night

Today I continued reading that book I mentioned about Marxism. Nearly finished it, only a few more chapters to go. Might do a little review if I can get round to it.

Anyhow, I've been finding it hard to sleep these past few weeks. As fucked as it sounds, it's almost like I'm too tired to sleep. I don't know what's causing it yet, but it isn't good. Seems like the only times I can sleep properly are if I've taken sleeping pills, smoked a joint or had a drink.

Let's see how tonight goes. 

Marxism: Liberating Humanity From It's Domination by Economics

I'm about a quarter of the way through reading an academic book which introduces Karl Marx and his theories. And I'm going to knock it on the head right from the start of this post - it's interesting as fuck.

I'm really taking a liking to Marxism. It does seem to add up. And as a child born in democratic western society, the idea that communism may be positive in certain aspects was something I had certainly never been taught whilst at school. Communism and evil were always together. Always.

I'm going to very briefly try and explain the fundamental basics of Marxism. As Peter Singer writes in Marx: A Very Short Introduction, 'Those who employ the workers - the capitalists - build up their wealth through the labour of their workers. They become wealthy by keeping for themselves a certain amount of the value their workers produce. Capital is nothing else but accumulated labour. The workers labour increases the employers capital. This increased capital is used to build bigger factories and buy more machines. This increases the division of labour. This puts more self-employed workers out of business. They must then sell their labour on the market. This intensifies the competition amongst workers trying to get work, and lowers wages.'

'Economics is the chief form of human alienation, and that the material force needed to liberate humanity from its domination by economics is to be found in the working class'.

'In the alienated condition caused by private property we cannot appreciate anything expect by possessing it or using it as a means. The abolition of private property will liberate our senses from this alienated condition, and enable us to appreciate the world in a truly human way.'

I know right, it's a little complicated, and sounds pretty boring at first read. But seriously, if you haven't looked into Marxism, give it a read. Especially if you've never researched deeply into the foundations of communism. Intense shit.

Don't get me twisted though - I'm not about to turn into a communist. Just my reading so far has really opened my eyes into new aspects we can view the capitalist system. Of course, I disagree with many communist beliefs, such as their policies on religion, and quite frankly as we've seen, often the blatant oppression of the people.

But these aren't ideas Marx came up with. His communist theories are almost pure-communism. The basics, without human greed coming into play.

But yeah, I'd definitely suggest purchasing the book I'm reading, Marx: A Very Short Introduction, by Peter Singer. It's brief, 100 or so pages, but enough depth to really educate and give a taster to Karl Marx's life and work. 

Video Of The Day #4

Pure metaphorical poetry from the UK's finest, Chester P. Try and decipher this shit.

Fucking hate Mondays.

And not just because it's the end of the weekend, but for some reason they always turn out to be the worst days of the week.

Looks like I'll be studying Marxist theory in regards to text for English literature for the next year, crime and deviance for Sociology, and I'm going to find out about my History course tomorrow. Damn. I need a fucking cigarette. Mad stress.

Video Of The Day #3

Welcome to London.

Starting A2 tomorrow

Damn this weekend was good! Look back to my last post and you'll see why ;)

Anyhow, all my exams are finished for this year, but the college has decided that we should begin the second year of our courses tomorrow, rather than after we come back from the summer holidays. What a shit idea. When we get back in September I'm going to be absolutely clueless as I'll forget what we've done over these next few weeks.

Much love yall!

The big questions

Today I wrote my first draft for my university statement. Mostly a load of bollocks, but hey, you've got to sell yourself, right? (After re-reading I can see how dodgy that sounds - but you get the gist)

I think it came out okay, quite short and simple, I kept it to around 400 words and focused mainly on why I'd love to do history, and tied a few links back to my family and how they lived under communist rule before coming to England.

I took a look around the net to see other people's statements, and Christ almighty, I metaphorically shat myself in class. It's hard to believe the quality and standard of some of them. It was quite an eye opener, for the first time I saw exactly the kind of competition I was up against.

My main concern right now lies with the question of whether I'll be able to achieve the grades I need. I'm aiming to get a C C C in my three subjects - that should allow me a chance to get into a few unis, but even getting that mediocre C is a worry.

Stressful times, for real.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to a nice chilled out afternoon tomorrow. Providing I can stay out of trouble and get there on time, I should be able to leave college at around midday. If so, I'll head over to the club with the boys and play pool till evening, then pick up some weed and a few drinks and relax at home.

It's been one fuck of a stressful week, and it isn't about to get any easier.

Take care yall!

University

Video Of The Day #2

As a big fan of British hip hop, I had to share this. I think us Brits get our rap slated all too often. Our grime scene may be well known, but our hip hop scene certainly isn't. The talent is there, it just appears the world doesn't want to give it a chance. And for anyone that is familiar with British hip hop, full respect to you.

Even if your unfamiliar with the hip hop culture at all, the documentary is really interesting, and sheds some light on the brilliant but unheard lyrical talent coming out of Britain's council estates.

I'm sorry, but...

I'm going to hell for laughing at this. And so are you.

Goodnight all.

Video of the day?

Life's too short.

What that has to do with this post... I don't know. Just some poetry I was reading. Anyhow.

I was thinking of a few original ideas I could use to make my blog a little more interesting. Despite the fact that this is my personal blog - so of course the majority of content will be based around the bullshit I feel the need to release through this shitty keyboard - I feel as though it's looking a bit bare. I'm going to post a 'video of the day' kind of thing. It'll either be something funny, weird, fascinating, or just downright fucked up.

And let's start with Video of The Day #1 (In future I'll place these in a post of their own)

 This motherfucker has style!

Lets talk about cannabis

Cannabis. Marijuana. Skunk. Mary Jane. Green Sweets (according to Tulisa). There are many names to describe what can honestly be seen as a demonized drug in much of western society. I'm no scientist by any means, let's not get that confused, but hey I've got some time to kill and a weed post might just be able to fill that gap.

I freely admit I have used and abused weed, from smoking all day to just having a joint before bed. I feel maybe that gives me a little credit to go on and write this post. Due to college primarily, and the sake of saving up money, I'm giving the herb a miss on most days. I know where my priorities are.. I think.

Anyway, here in Britain, it's almost become a taboo to politicians. They refuse to talk about it, despite many calls from their advisers that a drug policy change is needed. It's a class B drug, alongside cocaine and amphetamines, raised from a class C drug a few years back.

If caught, according to law, you should be slapped with an £80 fine on the spot, and may face up to five years in prison. What a fucking joke. In reality, we live in a 'decriminalized' state. If your caught with cannabis, as long as it's an amount you can call personal use, the police will simply take it, and give you a verbal caution. Obviously dealing and growing it leads to heavier consequences, but I'm going to keep this post as short as I can.

I didn't really want to sway into the law side of things, my firm belief still remains that the government should
only be able to advise us on what to put in our bodies, rather than actually banning certain substances. People will get a hold of what they want, legal or not. Anyhow.

I'm neither pro nor against cannabis. I've seen the positives and negatives first hand, and what can happen if it's use does spiral out of control. If a vote were to happen on legalization, then yeah, I'd most likely vote for it.

Too much of anything is bad, and this is particularly the case with cannabis. I've found it can help during stressful periods, but relying on it too much is an easy thing to do. I guess I've swayed in and out of cannabis addiction, some days I could do with a joint and others I'm fine.

With others it's another case. I watched a close friend of mine since childhood literally ruin his life through it. He's a paranoid wreck, always telling me the Illuminati are watching him, and that he has to drink bottled water because people want to poison him. It sounds more like a mental illness, and it probably is, but I'm certain it was cannabis related.

At the end of the day, kids these days are resorting to these so called 'legal highs', which are far more dangerous than pot, and have even resulted in deaths - which just isn't cool. Education and drug reforms are what, in my opinion, this country need. Street gangs in my area are raking in the profit from the laws on cannabis. That money could be used to fuel terrorism, arms dealing and fuck knows what else. I think we should look to states in America where marijuana is legal, and also to Amsterdam who has greatly benefited economy wise from the production and sale of cannabis to tourists.

Do I know what needs to be done? No. These goddamn politicians need to get their fingers out of their arses and take a look at what could potentially be a huge cash flow for the British economy, if controlled properly.

Legal or not, Friday afternoon is always settled with a beer and a heavily packed joint for me.

Is University right for me?

As I mentioned previously, today was my first day back at college after a two week break, and our task for the next two days is to get our heads around the concept of university next year. Researching different unis, preparing statements, having talks from university lecturers and talking to students who have just finished their first year at university.

I wasn't really into it at first to be honest. I had a rough night, woke up late and walked in halfway through the first presentation to the usual shrugs and sighs of the teachers who where used to seeing me turn up late.

After a lot of research, I began warming up to the idea of university life next year. To be honest, more so at the fact that I'd be able to go and live in another part of London, or maybe even the country for a few years.

My main concern is if I'll be able to get the grades needed. Usually three C's are enough to get you into a decent university. That's what I'm aiming for. Seriously doubting whether I can achieve it or not.

But if there's one positive I can take from today it's that I've made my mind up about what I'd like to take at university. I'd never really been sure, but now I'm pretty much certain history is what I'd like to study.

And fuck, those sleeping pills last night were nutty - I was still awake around midnight, everything I'd look at would begin to melt and move around. Some real psychedelic shit. Fuck knows if those pills are even legal in the UK. I doubt it.

One last thing...

Took a few dodgy sleeping tablets I brought back from the old country, and I can feel them starting to kick in, a well rested night is just what I need.

But before I doze off thought I'd mention that the Stone Roses were in town over the weekend. Pretty crazy shit, every street in the neighborhood was lined with beer cans and bottles, and it sounded like the atmosphere was great.

I didn't actually attend the concert, which I have to admit I now regret a little - looked like a massive laugh. But yeah, here's a clip of the Stone Roses in action at Finsbury Park.

I'm off to a pill-induced sleep.Great. You all take care now!

Tuesday nights?

I've got an early start tomorrow, college at 9am - we've been on a break for about two weeks now.
Probably best to stick to a few cigarettes and a light beer then.

My exam results come back in late August, only a few days before I begin enrolling on the second year of my courses. That is, assuming I get the grades needed to go on.

It's been a worry for me, although I've sort of managed to block it out during these past two weeks with hard drinks and good weed. (Don't give me that look - everyone enjoys some fine herb now and then).

Not much else to add other than the fact that I've felt strange today. Yeah, strange. I'm not sure how else to describe it. Like a strange sort of contemplating the meaning of life kind of.. thing. Slight depression? Maybe. It could be because I've barely been sober during the college break, my brain is catching up on lost time, making me feel all kinds of shit - then again I may seem to have developed some form of depression which comes and goes. Who the fuck knows.

One thing I do know is that I've got to start talking to that girl across the road, damn she's hot. Been single for a while now, might as well give it another shot. Yeah, next opportunity I get.

Peace and blessings!

No holiday!

Alas, the plans for a holiday (if you could even call it that - a few days in some armpit of eastern Europe) I'd been looking forward to since October last year have crumbled apart terribly.

Tickets for flights are an absolute fuckery. I mean, come on, £300? Really? I'm not sure about wider society but that's not the kind of cash I find lying around.

So I guess I'm stuck here for the foreseeable future. And maybe, you know, if the weather was in the slightest part decent I wouldn't mind too much. But, yeah, this is London.

I might try and save up as much as I can and go later on in the year, around October, but hell I don't know.

I'm heading back to college tomorrow, it's like a session where we have to research and prepare our statements for University next year. (Which forces the questions that I've been trying to push out of my mind: Will I be able to get into University? Do I want to go?) That might help to take my mind of facing the next three months on my own while everyone else jets off to Spain, Italy, 'Murica, you name it.

To end this long arse post, I leave you with a video which basically sums up the phrase 'God bless the internet'.