;)
Friday, 28 June 2013
Thursday, 27 June 2013
Worst College Ever?
I mentioned in a previous post already that I was sent home over some bullshit. Guess what. It's happened again. Different teacher, different reason, but the same absolute bullshit.
Let me make something very clear. I'm 17. I can get married. I can join the army. And I'm even going to college on my own freewill, I don't have to pursue further education after 16.
And guess what I'm sent home for? Before even getting into class, I had my phone out to check the time to make sure I wasn't late, and 'not making eye contact when spoken to' and being rude. Even worse is that I risk getting into some serious shit, as it was the headteacher, who threatened it was up to her whether I continued coming to the college or not.
Fuck it.
She's a stuck up old woman who's living in a false reality. I mean, come on. Your the head of a shitty college in north London, filled with kids from the ghettos and estates - including me. I'm trying to do better for my life, and I can't attend over this pathetic excuse for a reason.
Let me make something very clear. I'm 17. I can get married. I can join the army. And I'm even going to college on my own freewill, I don't have to pursue further education after 16.
And guess what I'm sent home for? Before even getting into class, I had my phone out to check the time to make sure I wasn't late, and 'not making eye contact when spoken to' and being rude. Even worse is that I risk getting into some serious shit, as it was the headteacher, who threatened it was up to her whether I continued coming to the college or not.
Fuck it.
She's a stuck up old woman who's living in a false reality. I mean, come on. Your the head of a shitty college in north London, filled with kids from the ghettos and estates - including me. I'm trying to do better for my life, and I can't attend over this pathetic excuse for a reason.
Wednesday, 26 June 2013
Video Of The Day #7
Absolutely shocking. I want to punch the seven shades of shit out of this vile man.
Tuesday, 25 June 2013
My Only Problem With Cannabis
Other than the fact that I strongly believe no government should be able to stop us using a plant put on this earth by nature/god - depending on your belief - there's one problem I've now come to terms with after two years of on and off heavy use - sleep.
Any other smokers reading this will know of the utter bliss when falling asleep stoned, but there's a catch to it - for me, at least. Trying to sleep without it.
For financial reasons other than anything else, I'll only smoke on Fridays and Saturdays, and it's the Sunday, Monday and even Tuesday after that falling asleep becomes so difficult. It's almost as though the body isn't used to sleeping sober.
I know for a fact it isn't just me, but I also know it doesn't affect everyone, and I suppose not going to sleep stoned at all would probably avoid the problem altogether. But I've got responsibilities and important things to do during the day, so evenings are the only time I can really light up. Not being able to sleep on a Sunday night is the perfect recipe for a shitty Monday.
I'll do some research into it if I can find the time, I really want to know exactly why this happens.
Any other smokers reading this will know of the utter bliss when falling asleep stoned, but there's a catch to it - for me, at least. Trying to sleep without it.
For financial reasons other than anything else, I'll only smoke on Fridays and Saturdays, and it's the Sunday, Monday and even Tuesday after that falling asleep becomes so difficult. It's almost as though the body isn't used to sleeping sober.
I know for a fact it isn't just me, but I also know it doesn't affect everyone, and I suppose not going to sleep stoned at all would probably avoid the problem altogether. But I've got responsibilities and important things to do during the day, so evenings are the only time I can really light up. Not being able to sleep on a Sunday night is the perfect recipe for a shitty Monday.
I'll do some research into it if I can find the time, I really want to know exactly why this happens.
Video Of The Day #6
Another piece of work from the UK's finest rapper and poet, Chester P. Very powerful verses, and as a local around my area in north London, he speaks the truth about poverty stricken life on council estates.
Monday, 24 June 2013
Things aren't going great
So I got home really early today. Kicked out of college. Again. This shitty teacher... she was trying to compare Marxism to a fucking book about a cat being stuck under a table. I mean... the fuck?!?!
And I don't care what anyone says, if I want to go toilet halfway through class, it's my fucking right to do so. I'm not going to give any exact detail as to why I was sent out but it doesn't take a genius to figure it out.
Anyway, fuck her, stupid slag. She needs a lesson or two from me.
And oh, remember when I said I was going to try and give the smokes a miss? That's not going amazingly well either. I've managed to cut down from like 10 a day to about 3 or 4. Actually, in hindsight that's pretty good.
And I don't care what anyone says, if I want to go toilet halfway through class, it's my fucking right to do so. I'm not going to give any exact detail as to why I was sent out but it doesn't take a genius to figure it out.
Anyway, fuck her, stupid slag. She needs a lesson or two from me.
And oh, remember when I said I was going to try and give the smokes a miss? That's not going amazingly well either. I've managed to cut down from like 10 a day to about 3 or 4. Actually, in hindsight that's pretty good.
Saturday, 22 June 2013
Video Of The Day #5
Chase & Status ft Plan B - Pieces
I used to love electronic dance music aka EDM, but I sort of grew out of it. Anyway, I was going through some old tracks and this was one I haven't heard in a while.
Good video. Excellent track.
Too stoned to write anymore lol.
Thursday, 20 June 2013
Here We Go Again...
This weekend I'm going to try and put down the cigs.
No, really, I am.
I know, I know, I've tried so many times in the past and I've never been able to keep myself away from the little fuckers, but I figured that I should keep trying, right? The only thing that can come out of it is good.
My only concern lies with the fact that I smoke weed on Fridays, and I roll my joints with tobacco to save money. At the moment, I'm not looking to quit the herb. One day, hell yeah, but at the moment, no. This means that I may have to keep a box of cigs in my room only for times when I smoke weed. But it's that added temptation which is worrying.
Anyhow, I'm not going to go on about it, I don't intend to make this another boring 'how-I-quit-fags' story.
Who knows, maybe tomorrows my last day as a tobacco smoker. Probably not. But let's see.
No, really, I am.
I know, I know, I've tried so many times in the past and I've never been able to keep myself away from the little fuckers, but I figured that I should keep trying, right? The only thing that can come out of it is good.
My only concern lies with the fact that I smoke weed on Fridays, and I roll my joints with tobacco to save money. At the moment, I'm not looking to quit the herb. One day, hell yeah, but at the moment, no. This means that I may have to keep a box of cigs in my room only for times when I smoke weed. But it's that added temptation which is worrying.
Anyhow, I'm not going to go on about it, I don't intend to make this another boring 'how-I-quit-fags' story.
Who knows, maybe tomorrows my last day as a tobacco smoker. Probably not. But let's see.
Wednesday, 19 June 2013
Sleep Is Getting Harder Each Night
Today I continued reading that book I mentioned about Marxism. Nearly finished it, only a few more chapters to go. Might do a little review if I can get round to it.
Anyhow, I've been finding it hard to sleep these past few weeks. As fucked as it sounds, it's almost like I'm too tired to sleep. I don't know what's causing it yet, but it isn't good. Seems like the only times I can sleep properly are if I've taken sleeping pills, smoked a joint or had a drink.
Let's see how tonight goes.
Anyhow, I've been finding it hard to sleep these past few weeks. As fucked as it sounds, it's almost like I'm too tired to sleep. I don't know what's causing it yet, but it isn't good. Seems like the only times I can sleep properly are if I've taken sleeping pills, smoked a joint or had a drink.
Let's see how tonight goes.
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
Marxism: Liberating Humanity From It's Domination by Economics
I'm about a quarter of the way through reading an academic book which introduces Karl Marx and his theories. And I'm going to knock it on the head right from the start of this post - it's interesting as fuck.
I'm really taking a liking to Marxism. It does seem to add up. And as a child born in democratic western society, the idea that communism may be positive in certain aspects was something I had certainly never been taught whilst at school. Communism and evil were always together. Always.
I'm going to very briefly try and explain the fundamental basics of Marxism. As Peter Singer writes in Marx: A Very Short Introduction, 'Those who employ the workers - the capitalists - build up their wealth through the labour of their workers. They become wealthy by keeping for themselves a certain amount of the value their workers produce. Capital is nothing else but accumulated labour. The workers labour increases the employers capital. This increased capital is used to build bigger factories and buy more machines. This increases the division of labour. This puts more self-employed workers out of business. They must then sell their labour on the market. This intensifies the competition amongst workers trying to get work, and lowers wages.'
'Economics is the chief form of human alienation, and that the material force needed to liberate humanity from its domination by economics is to be found in the working class'.
'In the alienated condition caused by private property we cannot appreciate anything expect by possessing it or using it as a means. The abolition of private property will liberate our senses from this alienated condition, and enable us to appreciate the world in a truly human way.'
I know right, it's a little complicated, and sounds pretty boring at first read. But seriously, if you haven't looked into Marxism, give it a read. Especially if you've never researched deeply into the foundations of communism. Intense shit.
Don't get me twisted though - I'm not about to turn into a communist. Just my reading so far has really opened my eyes into new aspects we can view the capitalist system. Of course, I disagree with many communist beliefs, such as their policies on religion, and quite frankly as we've seen, often the blatant oppression of the people.
But these aren't ideas Marx came up with. His communist theories are almost pure-communism. The basics, without human greed coming into play.
But yeah, I'd definitely suggest purchasing the book I'm reading, Marx: A Very Short Introduction, by Peter Singer. It's brief, 100 or so pages, but enough depth to really educate and give a taster to Karl Marx's life and work.
I'm really taking a liking to Marxism. It does seem to add up. And as a child born in democratic western society, the idea that communism may be positive in certain aspects was something I had certainly never been taught whilst at school. Communism and evil were always together. Always.
I'm going to very briefly try and explain the fundamental basics of Marxism. As Peter Singer writes in Marx: A Very Short Introduction, 'Those who employ the workers - the capitalists - build up their wealth through the labour of their workers. They become wealthy by keeping for themselves a certain amount of the value their workers produce. Capital is nothing else but accumulated labour. The workers labour increases the employers capital. This increased capital is used to build bigger factories and buy more machines. This increases the division of labour. This puts more self-employed workers out of business. They must then sell their labour on the market. This intensifies the competition amongst workers trying to get work, and lowers wages.'
'Economics is the chief form of human alienation, and that the material force needed to liberate humanity from its domination by economics is to be found in the working class'.
'In the alienated condition caused by private property we cannot appreciate anything expect by possessing it or using it as a means. The abolition of private property will liberate our senses from this alienated condition, and enable us to appreciate the world in a truly human way.'
I know right, it's a little complicated, and sounds pretty boring at first read. But seriously, if you haven't looked into Marxism, give it a read. Especially if you've never researched deeply into the foundations of communism. Intense shit.
Don't get me twisted though - I'm not about to turn into a communist. Just my reading so far has really opened my eyes into new aspects we can view the capitalist system. Of course, I disagree with many communist beliefs, such as their policies on religion, and quite frankly as we've seen, often the blatant oppression of the people.
But these aren't ideas Marx came up with. His communist theories are almost pure-communism. The basics, without human greed coming into play.
But yeah, I'd definitely suggest purchasing the book I'm reading, Marx: A Very Short Introduction, by Peter Singer. It's brief, 100 or so pages, but enough depth to really educate and give a taster to Karl Marx's life and work.
Monday, 17 June 2013
Video Of The Day #4
Pure metaphorical poetry from the UK's finest, Chester P. Try and decipher this shit.
Fucking hate Mondays.
And not just because it's the end of the weekend, but for some reason they always turn out to be the worst days of the week.
Looks like I'll be studying Marxist theory in regards to text for English literature for the next year, crime and deviance for Sociology, and I'm going to find out about my History course tomorrow. Damn. I need a fucking cigarette. Mad stress.
Looks like I'll be studying Marxist theory in regards to text for English literature for the next year, crime and deviance for Sociology, and I'm going to find out about my History course tomorrow. Damn. I need a fucking cigarette. Mad stress.
Sunday, 16 June 2013
Starting A2 tomorrow
Damn this weekend was good! Look back to my last post and you'll see why ;)
Anyhow, all my exams are finished for this year, but the college has decided that we should begin the second year of our courses tomorrow, rather than after we come back from the summer holidays. What a shit idea. When we get back in September I'm going to be absolutely clueless as I'll forget what we've done over these next few weeks.
Much love yall!
Anyhow, all my exams are finished for this year, but the college has decided that we should begin the second year of our courses tomorrow, rather than after we come back from the summer holidays. What a shit idea. When we get back in September I'm going to be absolutely clueless as I'll forget what we've done over these next few weeks.
Much love yall!
Thursday, 13 June 2013
The big questions
Today I wrote my first draft for my university statement. Mostly a load of bollocks, but hey, you've got to sell yourself, right? (After re-reading I can see how dodgy that sounds - but you get the gist)
I think it came out okay, quite short and simple, I kept it to around 400 words and focused mainly on why I'd love to do history, and tied a few links back to my family and how they lived under communist rule before coming to England.
I took a look around the net to see other people's statements, and Christ almighty, I metaphorically shat myself in class. It's hard to believe the quality and standard of some of them. It was quite an eye opener, for the first time I saw exactly the kind of competition I was up against.
My main concern right now lies with the question of whether I'll be able to achieve the grades I need. I'm aiming to get a C C C in my three subjects - that should allow me a chance to get into a few unis, but even getting that mediocre C is a worry.
Stressful times, for real.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to a nice chilled out afternoon tomorrow. Providing I can stay out of trouble and get there on time, I should be able to leave college at around midday. If so, I'll head over to the club with the boys and play pool till evening, then pick up some weed and a few drinks and relax at home.
It's been one fuck of a stressful week, and it isn't about to get any easier.
Take care yall!
I think it came out okay, quite short and simple, I kept it to around 400 words and focused mainly on why I'd love to do history, and tied a few links back to my family and how they lived under communist rule before coming to England.
I took a look around the net to see other people's statements, and Christ almighty, I metaphorically shat myself in class. It's hard to believe the quality and standard of some of them. It was quite an eye opener, for the first time I saw exactly the kind of competition I was up against.
My main concern right now lies with the question of whether I'll be able to achieve the grades I need. I'm aiming to get a C C C in my three subjects - that should allow me a chance to get into a few unis, but even getting that mediocre C is a worry.
Stressful times, for real.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to a nice chilled out afternoon tomorrow. Providing I can stay out of trouble and get there on time, I should be able to leave college at around midday. If so, I'll head over to the club with the boys and play pool till evening, then pick up some weed and a few drinks and relax at home.
It's been one fuck of a stressful week, and it isn't about to get any easier.
Take care yall!
Video Of The Day #2
As a big fan of British hip hop, I had to share this. I think us Brits get our rap slated all too often. Our grime scene may be well known, but our hip hop scene certainly isn't. The talent is there, it just appears the world doesn't want to give it a chance. And for anyone that is familiar with British hip hop, full respect to you.
Even if your unfamiliar with the hip hop culture at all, the documentary is really interesting, and sheds some light on the brilliant but unheard lyrical talent coming out of Britain's council estates.
Wednesday, 12 June 2013
Video of the day?
Life's too short.
What that has to do with this post... I don't know. Just some poetry I was reading. Anyhow.
I was thinking of a few original ideas I could use to make my blog a little more interesting. Despite the fact that this is my personal blog - so of course the majority of content will be based around the bullshit I feel the need to release through this shitty keyboard - I feel as though it's looking a bit bare. I'm going to post a 'video of the day' kind of thing. It'll either be something funny, weird, fascinating, or just downright fucked up.
And let's start with Video of The Day #1 (In future I'll place these in a post of their own)
This motherfucker has style!
What that has to do with this post... I don't know. Just some poetry I was reading. Anyhow.
I was thinking of a few original ideas I could use to make my blog a little more interesting. Despite the fact that this is my personal blog - so of course the majority of content will be based around the bullshit I feel the need to release through this shitty keyboard - I feel as though it's looking a bit bare. I'm going to post a 'video of the day' kind of thing. It'll either be something funny, weird, fascinating, or just downright fucked up.
And let's start with Video of The Day #1 (In future I'll place these in a post of their own)
This motherfucker has style!
Lets talk about cannabis
Cannabis. Marijuana. Skunk. Mary Jane. Green Sweets (according to Tulisa). There are many names to describe what can honestly be seen as a demonized drug in much of western society. I'm no scientist by any means, let's not get that confused, but hey I've got some time to kill and a weed post might just be able to fill that gap.
I freely admit I have used and abused weed, from smoking all day to just having a joint before bed. I feel maybe that gives me a little credit to go on and write this post. Due to college primarily, and the sake of saving up money, I'm giving the herb a miss on most days. I know where my priorities are.. I think.
Anyway, here in Britain, it's almost become a taboo to politicians. They refuse to talk about it, despite many calls from their advisers that a drug policy change is needed. It's a class B drug, alongside cocaine and amphetamines, raised from a class C drug a few years back.
If caught, according to law, you should be slapped with an £80 fine on the spot, and may face up to five years in prison. What a fucking joke. In reality, we live in a 'decriminalized' state. If your caught with cannabis, as long as it's an amount you can call personal use, the police will simply take it, and give you a verbal caution. Obviously dealing and growing it leads to heavier consequences, but I'm going to keep this post as short as I can.
I didn't really want to sway into the law side of things, my firm belief still remains that the government should
only be able to advise us on what to put in our bodies, rather than actually banning certain substances. People will get a hold of what they want, legal or not. Anyhow.
I'm neither pro nor against cannabis. I've seen the positives and negatives first hand, and what can happen if it's use does spiral out of control. If a vote were to happen on legalization, then yeah, I'd most likely vote for it.
Too much of anything is bad, and this is particularly the case with cannabis. I've found it can help during stressful periods, but relying on it too much is an easy thing to do. I guess I've swayed in and out of cannabis addiction, some days I could do with a joint and others I'm fine.
With others it's another case. I watched a close friend of mine since childhood literally ruin his life through it. He's a paranoid wreck, always telling me the Illuminati are watching him, and that he has to drink bottled water because people want to poison him. It sounds more like a mental illness, and it probably is, but I'm certain it was cannabis related.
At the end of the day, kids these days are resorting to these so called 'legal highs', which are far more dangerous than pot, and have even resulted in deaths - which just isn't cool. Education and drug reforms are what, in my opinion, this country need. Street gangs in my area are raking in the profit from the laws on cannabis. That money could be used to fuel terrorism, arms dealing and fuck knows what else. I think we should look to states in America where marijuana is legal, and also to Amsterdam who has greatly benefited economy wise from the production and sale of cannabis to tourists.
Do I know what needs to be done? No. These goddamn politicians need to get their fingers out of their arses and take a look at what could potentially be a huge cash flow for the British economy, if controlled properly.
Legal or not, Friday afternoon is always settled with a beer and a heavily packed joint for me.
I freely admit I have used and abused weed, from smoking all day to just having a joint before bed. I feel maybe that gives me a little credit to go on and write this post. Due to college primarily, and the sake of saving up money, I'm giving the herb a miss on most days. I know where my priorities are.. I think.
Anyway, here in Britain, it's almost become a taboo to politicians. They refuse to talk about it, despite many calls from their advisers that a drug policy change is needed. It's a class B drug, alongside cocaine and amphetamines, raised from a class C drug a few years back.
If caught, according to law, you should be slapped with an £80 fine on the spot, and may face up to five years in prison. What a fucking joke. In reality, we live in a 'decriminalized' state. If your caught with cannabis, as long as it's an amount you can call personal use, the police will simply take it, and give you a verbal caution. Obviously dealing and growing it leads to heavier consequences, but I'm going to keep this post as short as I can.
I didn't really want to sway into the law side of things, my firm belief still remains that the government should
only be able to advise us on what to put in our bodies, rather than actually banning certain substances. People will get a hold of what they want, legal or not. Anyhow.
I'm neither pro nor against cannabis. I've seen the positives and negatives first hand, and what can happen if it's use does spiral out of control. If a vote were to happen on legalization, then yeah, I'd most likely vote for it.
Too much of anything is bad, and this is particularly the case with cannabis. I've found it can help during stressful periods, but relying on it too much is an easy thing to do. I guess I've swayed in and out of cannabis addiction, some days I could do with a joint and others I'm fine.
With others it's another case. I watched a close friend of mine since childhood literally ruin his life through it. He's a paranoid wreck, always telling me the Illuminati are watching him, and that he has to drink bottled water because people want to poison him. It sounds more like a mental illness, and it probably is, but I'm certain it was cannabis related.
At the end of the day, kids these days are resorting to these so called 'legal highs', which are far more dangerous than pot, and have even resulted in deaths - which just isn't cool. Education and drug reforms are what, in my opinion, this country need. Street gangs in my area are raking in the profit from the laws on cannabis. That money could be used to fuel terrorism, arms dealing and fuck knows what else. I think we should look to states in America where marijuana is legal, and also to Amsterdam who has greatly benefited economy wise from the production and sale of cannabis to tourists.
Do I know what needs to be done? No. These goddamn politicians need to get their fingers out of their arses and take a look at what could potentially be a huge cash flow for the British economy, if controlled properly.
Legal or not, Friday afternoon is always settled with a beer and a heavily packed joint for me.
Is University right for me?
As I mentioned previously, today was my first day back at college after a two week break, and our task for the next two days is to get our heads around the concept of university next year. Researching different unis, preparing statements, having talks from university lecturers and talking to students who have just finished their first year at university.
I wasn't really into it at first to be honest. I had a rough night, woke up late and walked in halfway through the first presentation to the usual shrugs and sighs of the teachers who where used to seeing me turn up late.
After a lot of research, I began warming up to the idea of university life next year. To be honest, more so at the fact that I'd be able to go and live in another part of London, or maybe even the country for a few years.
My main concern is if I'll be able to get the grades needed. Usually three C's are enough to get you into a decent university. That's what I'm aiming for. Seriously doubting whether I can achieve it or not.
But if there's one positive I can take from today it's that I've made my mind up about what I'd like to take at university. I'd never really been sure, but now I'm pretty much certain history is what I'd like to study.
And fuck, those sleeping pills last night were nutty - I was still awake around midnight, everything I'd look at would begin to melt and move around. Some real psychedelic shit. Fuck knows if those pills are even legal in the UK. I doubt it.
I wasn't really into it at first to be honest. I had a rough night, woke up late and walked in halfway through the first presentation to the usual shrugs and sighs of the teachers who where used to seeing me turn up late.
After a lot of research, I began warming up to the idea of university life next year. To be honest, more so at the fact that I'd be able to go and live in another part of London, or maybe even the country for a few years.
My main concern is if I'll be able to get the grades needed. Usually three C's are enough to get you into a decent university. That's what I'm aiming for. Seriously doubting whether I can achieve it or not.
But if there's one positive I can take from today it's that I've made my mind up about what I'd like to take at university. I'd never really been sure, but now I'm pretty much certain history is what I'd like to study.
And fuck, those sleeping pills last night were nutty - I was still awake around midnight, everything I'd look at would begin to melt and move around. Some real psychedelic shit. Fuck knows if those pills are even legal in the UK. I doubt it.
Tuesday, 11 June 2013
One last thing...
Took a few dodgy sleeping tablets I brought back from the old country, and I can feel them starting to kick in, a well rested night is just what I need.
But before I doze off thought I'd mention that the Stone Roses were in town over the weekend. Pretty crazy shit, every street in the neighborhood was lined with beer cans and bottles, and it sounded like the atmosphere was great.
I didn't actually attend the concert, which I have to admit I now regret a little - looked like a massive laugh. But yeah, here's a clip of the Stone Roses in action at Finsbury Park.
I'm off to a pill-induced sleep.Great. You all take care now!
But before I doze off thought I'd mention that the Stone Roses were in town over the weekend. Pretty crazy shit, every street in the neighborhood was lined with beer cans and bottles, and it sounded like the atmosphere was great.
I didn't actually attend the concert, which I have to admit I now regret a little - looked like a massive laugh. But yeah, here's a clip of the Stone Roses in action at Finsbury Park.
I'm off to a pill-induced sleep.Great. You all take care now!
Tuesday nights?
I've got an early start tomorrow, college at 9am - we've been on a break for about two weeks now.
Probably best to stick to a few cigarettes and a light beer then.
My exam results come back in late August, only a few days before I begin enrolling on the second year of my courses. That is, assuming I get the grades needed to go on.
It's been a worry for me, although I've sort of managed to block it out during these past two weeks with hard drinks and good weed. (Don't give me that look - everyone enjoys some fine herb now and then).
Not much else to add other than the fact that I've felt strange today. Yeah, strange. I'm not sure how else to describe it. Like a strange sort of contemplating the meaning of life kind of.. thing. Slight depression? Maybe. It could be because I've barely been sober during the college break, my brain is catching up on lost time, making me feel all kinds of shit - then again I may seem to have developed some form of depression which comes and goes. Who the fuck knows.
One thing I do know is that I've got to start talking to that girl across the road, damn she's hot. Been single for a while now, might as well give it another shot. Yeah, next opportunity I get.
Peace and blessings!
Probably best to stick to a few cigarettes and a light beer then.
My exam results come back in late August, only a few days before I begin enrolling on the second year of my courses. That is, assuming I get the grades needed to go on.
It's been a worry for me, although I've sort of managed to block it out during these past two weeks with hard drinks and good weed. (Don't give me that look - everyone enjoys some fine herb now and then).
Not much else to add other than the fact that I've felt strange today. Yeah, strange. I'm not sure how else to describe it. Like a strange sort of contemplating the meaning of life kind of.. thing. Slight depression? Maybe. It could be because I've barely been sober during the college break, my brain is catching up on lost time, making me feel all kinds of shit - then again I may seem to have developed some form of depression which comes and goes. Who the fuck knows.
One thing I do know is that I've got to start talking to that girl across the road, damn she's hot. Been single for a while now, might as well give it another shot. Yeah, next opportunity I get.
Peace and blessings!
No holiday!
Alas, the plans for a holiday (if you could even call it that - a few days in some armpit of eastern Europe) I'd been looking forward to since October last year have crumbled apart terribly.
Tickets for flights are an absolute fuckery. I mean, come on, £300? Really? I'm not sure about wider society but that's not the kind of cash I find lying around.
So I guess I'm stuck here for the foreseeable future. And maybe, you know, if the weather was in the slightest part decent I wouldn't mind too much. But, yeah, this is London.
I might try and save up as much as I can and go later on in the year, around October, but hell I don't know.
I'm heading back to college tomorrow, it's like a session where we have to research and prepare our statements for University next year. (Which forces the questions that I've been trying to push out of my mind: Will I be able to get into University? Do I want to go?) That might help to take my mind of facing the next three months on my own while everyone else jets off to Spain, Italy, 'Murica, you name it.
To end this long arse post, I leave you with a video which basically sums up the phrase 'God bless the internet'.
Tickets for flights are an absolute fuckery. I mean, come on, £300? Really? I'm not sure about wider society but that's not the kind of cash I find lying around.
So I guess I'm stuck here for the foreseeable future. And maybe, you know, if the weather was in the slightest part decent I wouldn't mind too much. But, yeah, this is London.
I might try and save up as much as I can and go later on in the year, around October, but hell I don't know.
I'm heading back to college tomorrow, it's like a session where we have to research and prepare our statements for University next year. (Which forces the questions that I've been trying to push out of my mind: Will I be able to get into University? Do I want to go?) That might help to take my mind of facing the next three months on my own while everyone else jets off to Spain, Italy, 'Murica, you name it.
To end this long arse post, I leave you with a video which basically sums up the phrase 'God bless the internet'.
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